Keep your grief brief

As humans ‘grief’ is a natural human condition that we experience at some point or the other! Call it sorrow, unhappiness or what you will, but prolonged state of grief can play havoc on a person’s mind and body. We grieve when things go wrong or someone close to us passes away- Grieving over something is the mind’s way of acknowledging the loss that we experience and it is a natural state of the mind to lament or cry and then get on with life.

When there is a death in the family or someone close to us is going through sickness or a crisis we feel sadness and despair. That is only natural. It is important to go through a period of mourning, especially in cases of bereavement or the end of a relationship. Life is a series of moments, some good-some downright painful and ugly!

Grieving over a loss is that point where life is transiting from one period to another. And of course, there is no standard or manual which can tell you how to overcome grief. As humans we have an extraordinary capacity to get over any misfortune or sorrow that life may throw our way. The point here is to equip ourselves mentally to face the thorns that life may cast in our path and come out in one piece.

As said earlier, there isn’t any do-it-yourself guide to deal with grief and it will largely depend on the type of loss that you are suffering and the type of person you are. However, if these tips can even get you to reflect about the miniscule nature of ‘things’ in our existence then it can make your journey through the earthly plane a somewhat less painful.

Acknowledge the pain

Grief often numbs. The mind goes into a groove and just refuses to come to grips with the situation. This is only the mind’s way of protecting or insulating itself from the shock of the incident. Sometimes unexpected happenings like sudden deaths or something equally shocking can really throw life out of gear and then life becomes a hellish existence where one just loses all faith or hope in anything. Yes, really what’s the point in even living when nothing is in our control? Now, that is the pessimist’s view of things. This mindset only closes our mind to the possibility to the things that ‘can’ go right after all. So let the pain and hurt register completely. Cry as it will help you deal with it. And get on with life.

Some people feel they have this ability to mask their pain. This is a very dangerous thing to do. It is like a peat fire burning away and eating away at your inside, slowly but surely. So by all means cry, wail, bawl but then walk ahead.

Don’t be alone

It is natural to withdraw into a shell and hide oneself away from the sympathy of friends and well wishers. Yes, it is true that nobody can quite understand your pain or your situation but it is better to have a shoulder to lean on rather than choose to go it alone! If as humans we are unique then it is a given that our situations or reasons will also be unique. For someone crippled in a wheelchair is a different sort of pain than someone going through a relationship crisis. Though both qualify as pain or distress and the degree of discomfort also might be considerably different, at the end of the day we all have to bear our own crosses! But it’s at this time that we require the emotional support the most. The task can get a little easier with the help of company. We often give our family or friends very little credit just for being there. In times of crisis, this is the support that can help us overcome grief and pain. So do not get reclusive and shun company.

Move on

Easier said than done. The sooner you realize that holding on to your pain is not going to get you anywhere nice- or anywhere at all; the better. This is of course not said with any intention of belittling your pain, but think about it. Overcoming grief doesn’t make you a bad person. Yes you can feel guilty about going back to normal, but isn’t that what’s eventually supposed to happen? So why not do it sooner? So if someone is trying to cope with a loss in their own way it is important that we should be sensitive to that person’s situation and not get judgmental. Moving on is keeping on with the currents of life.